Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize