I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
