wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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