4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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