hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
