I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize