Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
