im six kinds of drunk right now
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize