i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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