did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
