feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im holly from the hills drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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