I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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