Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
