i was born a porn star she said
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
