i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
