I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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