My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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