If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
