You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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