ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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