I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
