The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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