i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
