I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
