I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
