ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
