No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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