I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
