I wish i was in the wii world.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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