I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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