was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
