his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
