Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
