why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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