Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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