Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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