the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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