What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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