omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize