no. you can't hotbox the world.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Randomize
