We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
