the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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