Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
