I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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