So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
