He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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