I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
