Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
