I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
