i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
