just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
