They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
