Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
