Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I FOUND THE LEGS
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
