I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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