On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
