Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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