Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
