ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
