I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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