I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
